Category Archives: Learning

Kids back at school – How is it going and what to look out for

As much as I love my children, it does feel good to have them back in school after 6 months and have just a bit more time to myself and a feeling of some ‘normality’. Of course there is still immense uncertainty and coronavirus infection rates are rising in the UK, so who knows how long they will actually stay there!  Some of the year group bubbles are huge and for my 17 year old, her bubble is made up of the entire 6th form, who could potentially all be sent home. 

In the run up to school starting, Educating Matters delivered many sessions for parents on easing the transition back to school.   Teachers and parents I have spoken to last week, actually found coming back was smoother than they anticipated and many children have settled in well.  Of course there are also children who find it extremely challenging to be back and there are vast differences in academic progress made since March, with differing family circumstances.

Bear in mind that if your child is at one of the key transition points like starting Reception, Year 7, Year 12 or University, we would reasonably expect that settling in process to take more time.  I remember it taking me at least a year to settle into secondary school, without there being a global pandemic.

It is hard to gauge the full impact that lockdown has had on children and young people’s mental health, wellbeing and education.  They will all have experienced some sense of ‘loss’.

In our transition webinars, there were four main areas that parents wanted to address:


Socialising is a fundamental part of growing up and peer groups are an important source of support. Over a lengthy period of social distancing, friendships many have become strained or deteriorated. Teens may have communicated with friends over social media, whilst others will have had little contact with their peers. An extended break from school meant children may have lost that sense of belonging to the school community and connection with others. Particularly for younger children, who may not interact well over zoom, facetime or phone calls.

Getting children back into socialising and building connection will be the first priority of schools.  Students need to feel comfortable and happy, to be well placed to learn again.  If you have a younger child who is struggling to make friends or re-connect, it can be helpful to role play familiar situations.  For example, what to do in the playground if you have no one to play with.  Act out walking up to a group of children and practice what to say to them.  With older children, openly talk about strategies you use to stay connected with friends and work colleagues.  Although be careful not to put too much pressure, by asking them every day as soon as they come home from school questions like “Who did you play with?”


Parents I speak to seem to be most concerned about their children’s emotional wellbeing.  Start by noticing your own feelings about your child’s return to school.  Mirror neurons in the brain mean we mirror the emotions of those closest to us and any emotion like fear or anxiety is infectious and will rub off on your child.

How your child may be feeling will vary on a daily, even hourly basis.  Some children will be excited and happy to see their friends and teachers again.  Others are nervous or anxious. Some children could be frustrated and annoyed: they may have enjoyed learning in the home environment and do not want to return to school. Perhaps they have become used to being with their parents and don’t want to go back to the old way. 

All behaviour is a form of communication and be aware that children’s emotions may come out through regression or changes in behaviour.  Typical examples of this are: changes to sleeping or eating habits; being quieter or more withdrawn; clingy more fidgety and restless; seeming irritable and acting out, possibly refusing to attend school; physical complaints such as an upset stomach or headaches; excessively asking questions or seeking reassurance.

The most important thing is that you show your child it is safe to share their feelings by being accepting and holding a non-judgemental attitude. Validate and normalise their feelings and experiences.  Don’t try to talk them out of how they are feeling, as this is dismissive and they won’t open up next time, if they feel you aren’t really listening.   This is a crucial time to work on your emotion coaching/ reflective listening skills and there is more guidance to be found on this topic here

At the beginning and end of the day, allow a few minutes of 121 time, just to be there and help them feel your unconditional love and acceptance.

A good tip for any age is to share your ‘rose and thorn’.  I always begin by sharing my own ‘rose’ for the day. Something I am really happy about, proud of, or grateful for.  The ‘thorn’ is perhaps something that didn’t go so well or a worry I might have.  Model this first for your child and they then share theirs.

As much as we desperately want our children to catch up academically, they will not be in a positon to learn at school if their social and emotional wellbeing is not taken care of first.  This needs to be the priority over the next few weeks and possibly months.


Most schools, irrespective of the year group, will have been conducting some form of baseline assessment to determine where the students currently are.  As a former teacher, I know that one of the greatest challenges (even in ordinary times) is managing the sometimes vast range of needs and abilities within a class.  Many parents are understandably concerned about their child’s education regressing during such an extended time away from school.  Many of us during lockdown, were unable to spend as much time as we would like supporting our children’s learning.  That includes me!!! Even though I am a teacher and in theory know what I should be doing, the reality is that running my own business during the busiest period Educating Matters has ever experienced, I didn’t have the time available that I would have liked to devote to my children’s education.

The one good thing is that this is an issue affecting children around the world, so you don’t need to feel that just your child is disadvantaged.  Not all children will feel ready to jump straight back into learning.  There will be a gradual phasing in of lessons, balancing more academic lessons with creative and vocational ones.  I have also noticed that children are a lot more tired than they used to be after a whole day at school.

It is extremely helpful once kids have settled in, to share with the school any observations you made about your children and how they learn, during their extended period at home.  If you feels it’s necessary, speak to school about reducing or eliminating homework until your child has settled back into a routine.

During lockdown I emphasised repeatedly that children have been learning so many more valuable lessons and life skills than what is within the confines of the national curriculum or exam board syllabus.  For a reminder watch this short vlog.


We all created new routines to fit around lockdown life:  waking up later, going to bed later, increased screen time.  In fact our whole relationship with time changed and for many there was no need to be somewhere at a specific time.

It is very important to get our children back into familiar morning, bedtime and homework routines.   If this is an area you are struggling with, the trick is to involve your child, whatever their age, in creating the rules, routines and boundaries.  Discuss and agree them together, then write them down or for younger children create a visual reminder.  This provides clarity, consistency and avoids the need for constant nagging, repeating and reminding.

What other challenges or issues are you facing now that most children are back in school?  Would love to hear from you – please share your thoughts or questions.

Amazing online resource to support 7-11 year olds learning

Over the past 19 years since founding Educating Matters, I have spent a lot of time checking out products, resources, reading books and testing parenting strategies.  I never recommend anything that hasn’t been tried and tested on my own 4 children.

In January, my fourth child will be sitting the selective 11+ exams and thankfully it’s the last time I will have to support a child through this process!  It felt like such a big deal first time round but now that my older two have been through GCSEs, A levels and University applications, it doesn’t hold quite the same gravitas.   I have always been in favour of a non- pressurised approach and firmly believe that with solid foundations and parental support, children will end up where they need to be.  It is no good preparing a child with multiple tutors and endless practice papers to pass the entrance exam to a highly academic school but then that child struggling and feeling unhappy once they are there.

Nevertheless selective exams aside, parents may be understandably feeling some anxiety about their child’s education regressing due to the many months of face to face teaching they have been missed.  A close friend of mine recommended using Atom Learning with my 10 year old daughter, so we did a trial and I was so impressed and intrigued that I called them up directly to find out more.

Whilst many of you and your children will be absolutely sick of ‘homeschooling’ and want to back off from any formal learning during the summer holidays, I just thought I would share my great new discovery.  It will be useful for any of you with a child aged 7 to 11.  Whether you simply want to reinforce their learning for Key Stage 2 or prepare them for SATs or a selective exam for independent or grammar schools.

Atom Learning was founded in 2018 and  is a Key Stage 2 online and fully adaptive teaching and learning platform covering English, Maths and Reasoning (Science will be released in September). The platform helps children consolidate Key Stage 2 knowledge and prepare for SATs, any senior school entry and School-Specific Assessments.

There is a free platform for schools and a home platform called ‘Atom Nucleus’ which can provide a personalised, engaging and motivating experience.

Here is a summary (in no specific order) of what I like about it:

  • It uses AI to pitch the questions at an appropriate level for your child, so it genuinely adapts to find that fine balance of stretching a child but not to the extent that they feel frustrated.
  • It helps to build confidence.
  • There is a really simple, intuitive section for parents where you can see detailed performance analytics and determine your child’s strengths and any gaps.  You can then use this information to set more work accordingly.
  • All the content has been handwritten by professional teachers rather than being automated by a computer.
  • There are hundreds of video tutorials led by teachers and an option when a child sees a tricky question to click ‘I’m not sure’ and have a teacher share a brief video explaining how to reach the answer.
  • When a student gets a question wrong, they can immediately see an explanation of the correct answer.
  • It is genuinely fun and engaging, my daughter is much more enthusiastic and motivated to use this over the usual 11+ workbooks.
  • It covers English, Maths, Verbal and Non-Verbal reasoning all in one place and from September, they are adding science.
  • During the summer they are offering free, online, intensive summer courses across all subjects.
  • It has unlimited, adaptive mock tests.
  • It is a viable alternative to expensive 1:1 tutoring.

Educating Matters have managed to secure a discount for parents using this link

You can also sign up to a free trail which is what I did initially so you and your child can really get a feel for how it works.

Or it may be something you leave through August but start up again in September.

Top 7 ways to support your child’s learning

How Can Parents Best Support Their Children’s Learning?

In all my years of classroom teaching, raising my own 4 children and supporting thousands of parents through ‘Educating Matters’, I have come to one very important conclusion:  parents are undoubtedly a child’s first and most important teacher.  Children will learn more from their parents than they could possibly learn from even the most dynamic, talented teachers.  Of course I am not talking about specifics such as how to convert percentages into decimals or how electricity is made.  Parents are there to teach life skills such as resilience, emotional intelligence, organisational skills, moral compass, independent thinking etc.  Parents are also a child’s most important role model.  They learn far more from what you do, than what you say.

1. Educate Yourself As Much As Possible

How can parents effectively support their children’s learning and ensure they make the most of what school has to offer?   All you can expect from your child is for them to do their best and if you want them to have strong self-esteem and be self-motivated then nagging, repeating, justifying, reminding, bribing and shouting simply doesn’t work.  That is why I deliver parenting courses which give parents the skills to really bring out the best in their children, helping them to reach their full potential.


2. Learn The Right Way To Encourage and Praise

Two very core skills that I focus on are ‘Descriptive Praise’ and ‘Reflective Listening’.  Descriptive praise is about focusing on every tiny step in the right direction.  Reinforcing the behaviour you want to see from your child by noticing all the things they are getting right rather than our natural tendency to point out what they are doing wrong.  It is simply the most powerful motivator I know and the best way to encourage more learning and cooperation.  Reflective listening or emotion coaching is a way of really listening to your child, showing genuine empathy and understanding by taking the cue from them and reflecting back how they are feeling.  Both these skills work brilliantly with adults too – spouses, friends, work colleagues.

3. Instill A Love Of Reading

One of the greatest gifts any parent can give a child is instilling a love of reading which is why I have developed 3 reading seminars to guide parents as to how they can achieve this.  I was delighted to hear the head of Eton recommending that parents should read aloud to kids as old as sixteen.


4. Know How And When To Unplug

Screens are obviously one of the greatest developments but also present the greatest challenge to parents of this generation.  Whilst it is important to limit screen time, there are many wonderful resources which make learning more fun and engaging for all ages.

5. Make Home A Place For Learning

As much as possible, take advantage of the home context and look for opportunities for children to learn in an inspiring, meaningful way.  Children of all ages learn the best through play and exploration.  Model a passion for learning so your children understand that even adults are always learning.  Be aware of what they are learning in school and find ways to engage them in conversation or visit galleries, museums, exhibitions.

6. Respect Their Need For Quiet Time

Children don’t like to be bombarded with lots of questions when they come home from school.  Often a good way to make them feel important is talk to them about what happened in your day before asking about theirs.  Invite them to offer you opinions or advice.  A great tip to motivate and encourage positive thinking for any age is to ask them to name three good things about their day and you can do the same.  It can be as simple as the sun shone, no maths homework, no traffic on the way to work etc.

7. Foster Your Relationship

What a child wants more than anything else in the world is their parent’s approval and simply to be understood.  Children also like to be given responsibility and a feeling of independence.  Nothing is more important than your relationship and connection with your child.  That has to be in place before you can expect to motivate or encourage them to learn anything from you.