Don’t Miss Out on Opportunities in ADHD Parenting
When I was asked to take part in ADHD PARENT’S PALOOZA I was elated. Then, I felt overwhelm. I was asked to speak on anything in regards to parenting and ADHD. That narrowed it down…. Should I talk about homework? Should I talk about diet? Then, it hit me. I am a relationship therapist. I should talk about how to use the relationship between parent and child to stop meltdowns before they happen.
We often over medicalise the neuro-divergence behind ADHD. Whether it be the child, parent or both with the diagnosis, we make it about the “traits”. In an attempt to help our child navigate a neuro-typical world, we forget the most important thing. We have a relationship with our child that is beyond intellect, beyond social skills and beyond what is quantifiable with scientific research.
Don’t get me wrong. I am a total geek for the Science. I am a firm believer in proven interventions that can be utilized for success for both ourselves and our children. However, it is critical that we not turn our children into a problem that needs to be solved. We lose so much of what makes them unique.
I took my moment in ADHD Palooza to talk about “Preemptive Parenting: Managing Meltdowns Before They Happen”. I remind parents to bring it back before the basics. Parents need to remember that there are 2 people involved in a relationship. Parents can learn to rely on their intuition to see what is happening in themselves to notice what is happening in their child. Then, we can curiously question what is going on in them.
Does this mean meltdowns are a thing of the past? Of course not. Meltdowns serve a purpose and need to happen from time to time for our children to have a factory reset. However, we can begin to take advantage of the opportunities our intuition gives to intervene before the meltdown happens and manage the emotions before they become overwhelming.
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