The Equal Parent, written by Paul Morgan-Bentley, Head of Investigations at The Times, can be ordered now
I decided to try to write a book about fathers being equal parents while lying in bed one night, thinking about how no one ever calls women ‘hands-on’ mothers.
My son, Solly, was three months old and I had just settled him back to sleep after a night feed. At the time, I was on extended leave from work to look after my baby – something millions of people do. But, because I am not a woman, I was getting lots of praise for it.
I went to vaccination appointments and nurses congratulated me on being “such a hands-on dad”. I was praised by a pharmacist for picking up a prescription for my son. Even though we strive for equality at work, no one seemed to expect equality at home after having a baby.
Lying in bed that night, I had lots of questions buzzing in my mind. So I decided to go on a mission to answer them.
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Why do men take so little time off work to bond with their babies?
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Why don’t we expect dads to do more at home?
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Is there a biological difference in mothers’ and fathers’ parenting instincts?
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Why do mums seem to wake up first when their baby cries at night?
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Why do nurseries and schools often call mothers first when there is a problem?
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Why are mothers never praised for being ‘hands on’, even when they work more and earn more than their partners?
With a range of case studies, research from around the world, and conversations with leading scientists, The Equal Parent investigates the truth behind so many falsehoods about parenting roles – and explores why challenging these myths to achieve parenting equality will benefit all of us: mothers, fathers and, most importantly, our children.
I am really excited (and terrified) to hear what readers think – and to hear about lots of different families’ personal connections with equal parenting. The Equal Parent is now available to be pre-ordered online, ahead of its release in the UK on March 2nd, 2023.
You can order it here: