Category Archives: Rules

Establishing clear rules/boundaries

If you have resolved in 2018 to be a more positive, effective parent where can you start? I always say the crux of parenting is about building a strong, connected relationship. My absolute 2 favourite tools for that are ‘Descriptive Praise’ and ‘Reflective Listening’.

However another good place to begin at the start of a new year is to think about boundaries and rules. When they are created in a positive way, they can be a very useful tool to be clear about the behaviour you would like to see without the need for nagging, repeating and reminding.

Our job as parents is to keep children safe, provide consistent structure and prepare them for life. Rules and boundaries are part of the formula to help parents achieve that.

To summarise:
1. Sit with your partner and anyone else who cares for your children. To maintain a united front, agree an area to focus on and what the rules should be.

2. Now sit with your child. Choose one area (e.g. meals, screens, bedtime routine, going out, sibling interaction). Establish what the rules currently are and what they should be

3. Write the rules down

4. Agree on the reward for keeping to the rules and consequence for not.

Rules can’t be used in isolation without working on connecting with your child