FAQ
The seminars encourage lots of questions and discussion, reassuring parents that many of them share the same concerns and struggle over similar issues. Here are some examples of typical questions from parents and answers from Rachel.
READING MATTERS
Should I read a bedtime story to my 4 and 6 year old at the same time or separately?
Snuggling up to your child with a book is often the only relaxed time in the day for both a parent and child and really is something to cherish. You have to judge what is right for your individual children. By the ages of four and six, most children have developed different interests and levels of maturity. A four year old probably still wants to hear a story from beginning to end in one sitting, whilst six year olds often enjoy the experience of a chapter book and reading a bit of a story each night. If you do want to read with both of them together, you can allow them to choose a book each or ask the older child to read to the younger. Children really benefit from ‘quality time’ alone with their parents, even if it is only for five minutes.
My child complains that school books are boring.
Many schools use reading schemes when children are first learning to read. The books are ordered in level of difficulty and using a controlled vocabulary, slowly introduce children to new high-frequency words. Scheme books are helpful for teachers to monitor a child’s progress. However, some children make a distinction between books they actually enjoy and books they learn to read with. Scheme books can also introduce a very competitive element into the classroom. You can imagine how a child ‘s confidence may be undermined if they have been on ‘the blue books’ for three months whilst many classmates have moved on! Make sure that your child still has lots of opportunity to read and enjoy ‘real books’ so they remember why it is worth learning to read. You can also share the reading with your child, for example, they read one page and you read two. Speak to the class teacher and ask if they have an alternative reading scheme to try.
My 9-year-old son can read perfectly well but doesn’t want to!
‘Being a reader’ with a love of books as opposed to just being able to read, helps children access all areas of the curriculum and is a key life skill. Start off by encouraging your son to read anything, whether it’s the back of a cereal packet, instructions to a game or the TV guide! Let him see why reading is relevant in everyday life and draw his attention to print in the environment. For many children, it is really a case of parents investing the time to find the ‘right book’. One positive experience of really enjoying a book or effortlessly breezing through can change a child’s attitude towards reading. Speak to his peers and ask them to recommend books they have enjoyed. Don’t expect him to tackle a really thick book on his own. Spend some time introducing a book, read aloud to him and then stop at a really exciting bit and ask him to continue alone. Try and get him hooked on a series.
My bilingual child is in Reception and just learning to read. Will it confuse her if I continue to read at home in Italian?
When your child was learning to talk, you obviously spoke in Italian. Bilingual children sometimes take a little longer to speak, as they are processing two different languages but they end up being at a huge advantage by speaking both. The same applies to reading and although there may be some initial confusion because letter sounds are pronounced differently, continue reading in Italian. www.mantralingua.com is a great website to purchase dual language, core books found in most English schools.
NUMERACY MATTERS
I have no idea how my child is being taught to do long division. The method is totally different to how I learnt!
New methods of teaching standard written algorithms are being taught in many schools. This can be incredibly frustrating for both parent and child. You can very patiently try to explain something to your child and they argue ‘That’s not how my teacher does it at school’. The best thing to do is, write a note or speak to the class teacher and ask them to either reinforce the method with your child or explain to you how they are being taught in school so that you can support them effectively at home.
My daughter keeps saying she can’t do maths.
Children’s perception of themselves dominates the whole process of learning. As soon as they get it into their heads that they can’t do something and the more they say it to themselves, the more difficulties they end up having! Try and talk to your daughter about what she finds particularly difficult. The trouble with maths is that it works in a series of progressive steps whereby you have to fully grasp one concept before moving on to the next and children can get lost. Make sure the school are aware of the problem and discuss with the teacher how you can help. Do everything you can to boost your daughter’s confidence, even in areas not related to maths and take things one-step at a time. Be realistic about your expectations.
What is all this talk about number lines and hundred squares?
Schools today place a greater emphasis on mental maths than ever before. Children are encouraged to experiment with lots of different ways to do a calculation and are asked to explain how they reached an answer. Number lines and hundred squares help children to read, write, order and sequence numbers and allow them to see numbers visually in their hands on a horizontal line so that they can move towards tackling larger calculations. Children use these resources for addition and subtraction by counting on or backwards. With young children, they are very useful for reinforcing patterns in number and the concept of place value – i.e. that the position of each digit tells you how much it is worth.
HOMEWORK MATTERS
I have twins (boy and girl aged 7) – one is very academic and the other really struggles. What can I do?
This is a common issue for any parent of more than one child but it is highlighted even more with twins. One would have been the first to crawl, walk, talk etc. Parents often say that a younger sibling is more able than the older. It is important to focus on the strengths of each child and try not to compare one with the other, even though it is a natural response. There must be something that the less academic twin is good at and focus on/praise these strengths. Make sure that you don’t always treat them as a package. Try to catch some ‘quality time’ with them individually and encourage them to develop their own interests. If possible, it can help if twins are in separate classes at school.
How much should I correct my child’s homework?
Although it doesn’t always feel like it, homework is meant for children not parents! Sometimes children will be asked to do something like make a model of a Viking ship and a task like that does tend to become a competition amongst the parents! However, parents are not really doing their children any favours by sending in perfect homework, as the teacher won’t get an accurate picture of what the child is able to do independently. Homework has different purposes and you need to understand the school homework policy and the teacher’s learning intentions. If your child completes a whole page of sums incorrectly it would be more beneficial to work through a few examples and ask he/she to try again on their own or ask the teacher to explain the concept again. With story writing, the focus may be to write a well-structured story and use interesting vocabulary rather than worrying too much about spelling mistakes and punctuation. If a parent purely focuses on correcting all the grammar and spellings, that child may not have the confidence to have a go at writing independently next time.
Children have a tendency to make careless mistakes, so get your child into the habit of looking over their work. You will be amazed at how many mistakes they can often spot themselves!
My 7 year old is incapable of sitting still and focusing on homework for more than a few seconds.
I had the same issue with my 6-year-old son! One strategy that has really helped was using a kitchen timer. Set the timer for two minutes and tell your child that as soon as the buzzer goes off, he/she can stop what they are doing. At the end of the two minutes, give your child lots of praise and encouragement and perhaps have some type of reward system in place (such as a sticker chart). Carry on with setting the challenge of focusing for two minutes over a few more days and then build the time up slowly. Children like to know that there is an end in sight and you can make this feel like a game. Keep your word and allow them to stop their work as soon as the buzzer goes off even if they have not completed the task. Try not to make homework into a big issue. By establishing a very clear routine and consistent rules about doing homework, children eventually learn to accept it. Once they have learnt to do it independently without a battle, it means you don’t have to physically be there which is great for working parents!